Chasing Chase: Why I'll Never Trust Chase Bank Again, A Yuppie Nightmare¶

It always goes this way. Someone will try teaching you a parable or life story, but you never really understand it until you have to experience it yourself. Some call this ‘learning things the hard way.’ Some call this life. Now, folks always told me that consulting was either a feast or famine, which sounds straightforward, but it turns out I didn’t really know what this meant until I had to deal with Chase.

Earlier this year, for reasons that are still not fully known to me, and despite my existing relationship with Chase (dating back to my first job out of university over a decade ago!), Chase froze $180,000 of my money without warning. This left me scrambling to pay employees and nearly derailed my business—all without explanation. It was a major wake-up call not just for me but for any entrepreneur. The importance of diversifying your banking and choosing financial partners that actually support small businesses has never been more important.

I never thought I'd be writing a cautionary tale about banking, but here we are. As an AI consultant and small business owner, I assumed my long-standing personal account with Chase Bank would provide a solid foundation for my new venture. I was wrong. Painfully, expensively wrong.

For those unfamiliar, a Yuppie Nightmare, or Yuppie Nightmare Cycle, is a trope in cinema. It revolves around a young urban professional (Yuppie) faced with convoluted, recursive, and absurd plotlines that draw them (usually a male) into an unfamiliar world that often sees the protagonists suffer bodily or mental harm. For me, I thought I had figured banking out to some degree, but man, dealing with Chase and getting gaslit every step of the way was my own Yuppie Hell.

The Setup: A Decade of Trust¶

I hate to sound like a boomer, but there was a time when people stayed with a service provider for decades. I have a buddy with a grandfathered Rogers Communications internet contract from 2002. He’s never going to give it up because he likes the service. The idea of customer loyalty used to mean something, dammit! I'd been with Chase since 2014. I had experienced excellent and reliable service in the past, and Chase was and is a reputable bank for the most part. When I started my business last year, opening a business account with them seemed like a no-brainer. I could do it online while in Canada, waiting for my O-1 visa to process. Within four months of consulting, I had accumulated about $180,000 in that account, an amazing accomplishment for a new business. Things were going well. Until they weren't.

The Freeze: No Warning, No Explanation¶

One day, out of the blue, Chase blocked all transactions on my account—including payroll for my employees. They didn't even bother to tell me until my payroll provider couldn't process the payment. I had to call six different customer service agents and get transferred around a dozen times before I realized what had happened. Their response? "We're not going to do business with you. We will mail you a cashier's check." No explanation. No recourse. After four weeks of waiting, nothing came up in the mail.

Chasing Chase¶

At the time, I wasn't even living in the U.S., and my O-1 visa was still processing, so I couldn't immediately fly back to sort out this misunderstanding. My executive assistant(EA) was powerless as she was not a signee on the account. No one at Chase would give either of us any information!

When I finally got cleared to travel and made it to San Francisco, I hit another wall. Chase kept asking for more evidence. Prove you own the business. Prove you're a signee. It never ended. It felt like I was trying to prove I wasn’t insane to a guard at an asylum. I finally got a response after emailing the branch manager every document attributed to my LLC formation. They told me they'd mail me a cashier's check once they retrieved and verified the documents. When I left San Francisco and returned to Canada, there was no check—Quelle surprise.

Desperate for resolution, I flew back to New York City, bouncing between Chase branches. I even rented an AirBnB right outside a branch. Why? Because I had $180,000 locked away, and I was running out of options. The excuses this time were a revolving door:

• "You don't own the business."
• "Some of your clients aren't from the U.S."
• "There are suspicious transactions."

But Chase wouldn't tell me which transactions were suspicious, and they wouldn't mail out the money. And my business account? It had vanished from my online banking portal! By then, I had depleted my personal checking account and was running on credit cards from which I would have to sell stocks to pay my employees.

As weeks turned into months, I was burning through my personal savings. I had to borrow money from friends just to keep the business afloat. Payroll was coming out of my personal account, wreaking havoc on my accounting.

The Hail Mary: Executives and Twitter¶

Someone suggested contacting Chase's executive office. My EA found every executive email we could and launched a little outreach campaign. Simultaneously, I turned to Twitter, connecting with peers who put me in touch with different account managers.

Finally, a breakthrough. But Chase's demands were absurd: Each branch asked for different paperwork—often the same documents I'd already submitted in San Francisco. The demands kept escalating: they wanted the name, address, and phone number of every single person who had sent me money, including Buy Me a Coffee supporters and GitHub sponsors. The story kept changing every time we communicated. Luckily, I had an EA who could help me do this. Otherwise, I would have been underwater given the various workshops, speaking engagements, client work, and research I had due in the upcoming months.

The Resolution: Too Little, Too Late¶

After months of back-and-forth, multiple simultaneous conversations, and escalation to the executive branch, I finally got my money. I was never told what ended up being the actual issue. I finally got my money after two weeks of working with the executive team. But I mean, come on, the damage was done. My trust was shattered. Can you blame me?

The Lessons: What Every Entrepreneur Should Know¶

Not to be a LinkedIn stereotype posting “Here’s how I turned my issue into a B2B sales course!” type of content, but I did take away some crucial lessons that I think anyone looking to start a small business can appreciate.

1. Big Banks Aren't Your Friend: Chase showed zero consideration for my situation or business despite years of loyalty. I now know why so many startups and small businesses are trying to innovate in banking.

2. Diversify Your Banking: Never rely on a single bank account for your business. Have backups. I now have Mercury Bank and will soon diversify my banking with Meow.

3. Consider Alternatives: Just because you’ve been with the same service for years and years doesn’t mean your needs haven’t evolved. Be open to exploring alternatives! Switching to Mercury Bank was a game-changer. They understand and support the needs of small businesses like mine.

4. Have Support: Put yourself in the best position to succeed. Often, that means being able to rely on others. I could only navigate this nightmare because I had an American EA who was incredibly helpful and understood my business.

5. Be Prepared for Anything: In consulting, especially in tech fields like AI, you need to be ready for curveballs—including from your own bank.

Remember, you're not just choosing a place to store your money. You're choosing a partner in your business journey. Ensure it will support you, not sabotage you at the first sign of success.

The Silver Lining: Mercury Bank to the Rescue¶

Amid this nightmare, Mercury Bank came to the rescue. They quickly onboarded me, allowing for efficient creation of both personal and business accounts. Their smooth process, upfront paperwork requirements, and understanding of small business needs were exactly what I needed after the Chase ordeal. Mercury supports everything I require - from credit cards to invoicing - that Chase was unwilling to provide.

If you're a startup or small business looking for a bank that truly supports you, consider using my referral link to open an account with Mercury

Follow my journey¶

I am a machine learning engineer, angel investor, and startup advisor. I plan to write more about my consulting and startup journey.

Comments